Do you know the warning signs of a violent relationship?

One of the worst fears for any parent of a teenage daughter may be whether she is choosing a safe dating relationship. With the awareness of “acquaintance” or “date” rape and the violence in teen relationships, can you spot the warning signs?

“Acquaintance or date rape is not a sexual act, but rather a violent act that is meant to intimidate and control the victim,” says Debbie Browning, RN, Women’s Health Coordinator for Clark Memorial Hospital. “The force can be physical, with a weapon, from a threat or a specific tone of voice.”

According to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network, date rape accounts for 60 percent of all reported rapes and 16 to 19 year olds are three and a half times more likely to be raped. However, less than one in every three rapes are actually reported.

“There are some warning signs to indicate whether your daughter may be in an unsafe relationship,” continues Browning.

Does he listen to her? Men who do not listen to women, ignore what they say, talk over them, or pretend not to hear them are likely to hear “no” as a yes or maybe.

Does he ignore personal boundaries? Personal boundaries are a way of showing respect for one another. Anyone who ignores these boundaries is exhibiting signs of disrespect and aggression.

Is he quick to be angry or aggressive towards women in general? A quick temper and general aggression is a sure sign of someone who will become hostile if confronted or contradicted. This can be especially serious if a woman says no to a sexual advance.

Does he make her feel guilty? Abusive men often try to manipulate their victims by using feelings of guilt as a method of control. If a woman says no to sex, he may call her “uptight” or say she does not truly love him in order to make her feel guilty.

Is he jealous or possessive? Jealousy and possessiveness are relationship “danger signals.”. When a man sees a woman as his property, he will more than likely feel it is his right to have sex with her.

Does he have unrealistic ideas about women? A man who believes women are meant to serve will more than likely not take no seriously.

Does he drink heavily or use drugs? Alcohol and drugs are sometimes the most common factor in date rape. Recent drugs, such as Rohypnol and GBH, are slipped into a drink to sedate an unwilling partner. Both of these “Date Rape Drugs” are not only illegal, but can result in death.

“The most important thing for a parent to do is to talk to their children about safety strategies and warning signs of potential violence in their relationships,” says Browning.

For more information on date rape please call Debbie Browning at 283-2582.

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